Five.

Today, my sweet BBZ, you are five.

Five.

I don't think I could even imagine you as a five-year-old when you were born, and here you are.  Five.

While I sometimes miss when you were little, it isn't anywhere close to how much I enjoy watching the new things you learn to do.  You are growing into such a wonderful young man.  Look at all the letters you can write!  I'm such a proud mama.

You watch our for your brother, and have moved into your role as big brother very well..  You stand up for him, and make sure he is taken care of.  It's so fun watching you guys play and interact together.  I sure hope you will always be friends.  Or at least friendly to each other :)

 

You still love everything Lego.  You eat a variety of foods, you love fruit and cold veggies with dip.  You speak your mind and stand up for yourself.  You love superheroes and like to play Legos downstairs.  You like bath time because you can wear your goggles and pretend to swim.  You like Tae Kwon Do ok, but would prefer to play without anyone telling you what to do.  You are your own person, that's for sure.

 

You love your computer class and tell us you don't want to go to college.  We ask what you do plan to do, and you're not sure.  You don't miss a thing and ask 100s of questions.  I like it.  It's like a peek into your curious little mind.

 

I think we might be past the worst of your toddler behavior {knock on wood}.  You still get angry at times, but you are becoming much more skilled at managing your own emotions.  Listening to directions from us is a struggle, but we are working on it.

 

You now keep your bed dry almost every single night.  We have to go in and get you up after you've been in bed for an hour, but it works.  It's funny because you are often so out of it that you don't remember us getting you up!

 

 

 

You bring so much joy to our lives, sweet BBZ.  You made me a mommy five years ago, and we've been in this together ever since.  We challenge each other and help each other grow.  I know I am learning so much about the person I want to be from you, I can only hope that I am doing the same for you.

 

I love you, BBZ.

 

Love,

Mommy

I'm going to regret this.

And I don't mean this actual post. I'm not about to say something I'm going to regret.

What the title means is that I am going to regret this time that I am not blogging. 

These boys are growing up right in front of me. And while I really have been focusing on just being present with them rather than recording Every. Single. Thing. that we do, I am thinking about how much I love reading back to BBZ's youngest years, and I don't want to forget these sweet times that are so incredibly precious to me. 

I mean seriously, look at this picture. Can't you just imagine these young boys as teenagers on some camping trip? Posting this exact photo to their own page? It is simply a few short years away, and I will surely blink and see these boys off to college. 

Oh how I love them so. They are beginning to play together. Like, really play together. BBZ sets the scene and little bro follows right along. Some of the things BBZ says has us laughing for days.

He told N the other day that his head hurt not because he was sick (which he was) but rather because he was smart. He said that his brain thinks too hard and hurts itself. He went on to say that he better get used to his head hurting because he is going to be smart for eighty hundred years. Man, I sure do love that boy. 

LBZ speaks in 3-4 word sentences, loves pretending to sneeze, likes tv more than I would have guessed, ends up in our bed at 3am every other night, loves to draw, loves to swim, and doesn't take a bottle at all anymore. 

While I haven't been blogging much, we have been busy. Working, living our lives, loving our boys, watching them grow, teaching them about the world, and basically spending our days doing our best to love each other as well as we can. 

Life is great. I hope reading this in 5 years is a good enough reminder if how things are/were. They are pretty fantastic :)

swim.

I believe I have mentioned before the long road we've been on with BBZ and swimming.  He began his relationship with the pool completely terrified.

It was not all his fault, however.  I am sure that my worry about his certain death by drowning was communicated to him through my mannerisms, even though I tried to keep a cool head.  I am a worrier, after all.

So when he was 3 years old, he began participating in swimming class once/week at preschool.  His teacher was a swim instructor and really encouraged us to enroll him in 1:1 swimming classes so she could work closely with him.

It was really expensive, but worth every penny.  She knew him well since she was one of his main teachers, so she knew exactly how to gently push him without him withdrawing.  She said that he is such a charmer, he would charm the pants off of anyone working with him and get out of having to do anything he didn't want to do.  Man, she had him figured out!

He sure has come a long way though.  As part of our Father's Day weekend, we went to the pool this past Saturday and he had a blast.  He swims every day now in the pool at his school during summer camp, so he knows what areas he can go into and where he can touch.  He was so confident.  I am a proud mama.

Now, let's talk about LBZ.  This boy.  He radiates confidence in the water.  I think he is probably also reflecting what I give off, and since I am a much more confident mama (I know he will not only survive swimming, but he WILL feel comfortable in the water before age three) he rises to my level of expectation.

He saw this slide, and wouldn't stop until he reached the top.  He saw those stairs, and begged to climb them "up and down, up and down, mommy".

 

I didn't think I was allowed to go with him, so I sent his brother.  BBZ got bored with that and ran off to play with a friend.  I ended up going up the stairs to the top with him, but he slid down on his own.  Over and over and over, he circled around the other side of this play area, back up the stairs, and slid again.

 

At times, he slid down like he owned it.  Other times, he sat at the top and just looked around.  It appeared at first that he was scared, but I don't think he was.  I think he was just watching the world.  Perhaps contemplating it from atop this high place.  I like to think that he was just enjoying the quiet peacefulness of the place, much like we do on top of a mountain.  It was kind of surreal.

 

These boys just continue to amaze me.  I love watching them grow, and contrast them against each other not in some sort of competitive way, but instead to celebrate their differences and better learn who they are.  

 

Each of them are their own unique person, developing right before my eyes.

 



A good ol' fashioned update.

I have not felt like blogging at all lately.  Totally uninspired.  Totally busy living life with my family.  Kissing my husband.  Loving on my boys.  Struggling with what the future of my career holds.  Just living.  You know, l.i.v.i.n.g.

But I really want to want to blog.  I have 2 somewhat serious posts started in my drafts, but I just cannot seem to finish them.  But I want to.  I want to have my words written for my boys as they grow.  I want to have information about what they were like as I look back on their early years, which are flying by faster than I would have ever imagined.  And we are loving these two boys of our.  So much.

The weekend kind of started on Wednesday.  I sat down with the boys and made their end-of-the-year teachers gifts.  I was going to but something, but then I saw this cute idea on Pinterest and figured we would stick to home made.  BBZ wrote letters on the back of his to his teachers, and LBZ drew some pictures on the back of his.  They were fun to make and turned out pretty cute!

 

Thursday night we went to a MLS game at Busch Stadium.  It was absolutely awesome.  I love soccer anyway, and the energy in this place was incredible.  We planned to have N's sister watch the boys, but my parents decided to come in town, so they stayed with the boys.  It was a great time, but Friday was rough for me :)

Friday we had a quiet night at home.  We brought in pizza, played video games and spent time with my parents.  It was a great Friday.

We also walked to the playground on Friday.  It's so nice to have one so close to our house.  LBZ and his Papa sure have a special relationship.  He wanted his Papa all weekend!  When he woke up this morning, he actually asked for Papa to come in and get him.  It was actually quite nice, since it was 5:45am.  Luckily, my dad wakes up really early!

 

Saturday morning after breakfast, my parents went to visit my grandma, so N and the boys and I took off to the garden.  Lu has the best little smile right now, where his eyes are squinted and his teeth are all showing...it's the cutest.  This is my attempt to catch it, but instead he just said "cheese!"

This one likes me to think he's as sweet as can be, but I know better :)

 

I caught it!  I can't get over the cuteness of this super-duper smile.

 

The obligatory photo on the carriage outside of the children's garden.  Spiderman style.

 

LBZ loves water.  Anything about water or swimming or splashing has his name all over it.  I really had to explain to him that he couldn't go into this water.  He was so disappointed.

So when we got to the fountain, which was on even thought it was quite cold, I had to let him play.  Of all the days I forgot a change of clothes, it had to be today.  So I had to strip him down to his diaper and save his clothes for after.  He started shivering and still did not want to leave. 

On Friday, N and the boys took my parents to see the new Lego store.  BBZ was so excited to show off the new store to my parents.  When I got home from work, there was this cute sign that says "a gift for mama because she is so pretty" with a treasure map on the back.  Hidden in BBZ's closet was this Lego, which I have wanted for years.

I was so excited!  But I also knew that it would probably take a while, so I didn't start building it until LBZ's nap on Saturday.  Then I opened it and realized that it didn't have the numbered bags like thy usually do.  1300 pieces and no rhyme or reason to the way it was organized.  It was tough, but I figured out a system.

I got a ways through it, but I couldn't work on it all day and I couldn't leave it out on the table since we had to eat dinner, so I stacked the bowls up and put the bigger pieces in a bag until later.  Then I was up until about 11:30pm and decided I really didn't want to stay up all night, so I saved the rest for Sunday morning.

 

So I finally got the whole thing done!  This guy loved it, but I guarantee it will not be downstairs with the other Lego's for him to play with.  This one is going on a shelf.

I finished it in time to get everything ready for our Memorial Day BBQ.  Most of our friends were out of town and others bailed, but we had fun anyway.  N set up the hammock he got for Christmas and BBZ had a blast.

We all did, actually.  It was a nice and relaxing place to swing and to snuggle.  Even if he didn't cooperate with the self portrait attempts.

These boys.

They played hide and seek with our friend, Ben, and LBZ didn't quite get the memo of how to play.  He kept yelling BBZ's name and telling Ben where he went.  It was pretty cute.

BBZ needs to work on his hiding skills, for real.

This is Janelle's surprised face.  LBZ took this one.

 

Everyone is snoozing.

 

Today we decided to go to the Gypsy Caravan, which was awesome even though it was a little hot.  I bought this cool necklace.

 

 

Then I did a little shopping and got everything ready for school tomorrow.  The boys rough-housed with N and we had BBQ leftovers for dinner.  Then we decided to have some family time and games.  And wine.

 

This cutie won.  He is currently cheering for himself.  "Yay!!!"

Don't you just love the 'A Beautiful Mess' app?  It's pretty fun.  So tomorrow is a new day.  The boys are each starting in their new classrooms.  BBZ is worried.  LBZ is clueless.  And I'm worried too.  I know they will both be fine, but none of us handle change as well as I wish we would, but we do our best.

 

LBZ is counting.  Well, he has 1-2, 1-2 completely down, then he will skip to 7-8-9, which is so sweet to hear.  He loves elmo and "mon-ter" and has been going to sleep at nap time without rocking.  He loves being outside and is beginning to hit, even though we are trying to prevent it.  He is a handful, and we love every minute of him.

 

BBZ is doing so well.  He is curious and smart and is figuring out this world more and more each day.  N told me the other day that he is able to figure out the challenges that the video games present to them faster than N can figure them out.  It makes me happy that he is using his mind during those games and not just playing a game for no reason.  He is pickier than he used to be, but will still eat fruit all day long if we let him.  He is stubborn and a little dramatic, and we are loving watching him grow.

 

Overall, things are amazing.  We are just living our lives and watching our wonderful boys grow.  I do have some deep thoughts I would love to share, but for whatever reason, my dedication to blogging is taking aback seat.  I am confident that it will return though.  Especially because of how much I enjoyed typing this.

 

Have a great week, friends!

4 and a Half. (and about a month)

About a month or so ago, my sweet BBZ turned 4 and a half.  Where has the time gone?  You are growing into such a lively little boy.  The toddler days of you are a distant memory as I watch you grow more and more into a little boy.

You say some of the funniest things!  One night at dinner, a kind (but a little creepy) waitress passed by LBZ and teased him and said "I'm gonna get you and take you home with me!". As she walked away you said "If she grabs him I'm going to elbow strike her!"  It was so funny. You just love your little brother.  Watching over him seems to come naturally to you.

You also said this while playing with some friends, "Guys, I'm just looking for a little excitement. And maybe even some danger. I am Batman, you know".

Everything is superheros.  Everything is larger than life and fantasy and the dreams of a little boy.  I just love it so very much, being your mama and watching you grow.  It is food for my soul.

One day while visiting Meme and Papa, you and your daddy were playing superheros.  You and he were superman and wonder woman and were married.  You were both running around and I think your daddy wanted to stop playing, so he said "that's it, I want a divorce!"  To which you responded by getting on the floor on your hands and knees and said... "ok, I will be de' horse".  It too had your daddy and me giggling for days.

You are certainly your own person, that's for sure.  These past 6 months have been full of extracurricular activities.  Tae Kwon Do and soccer to be exact.  You aren't in love with either, but you will at least participate in Tae Kwon Do.  You passed your first belt and this is your certificate.  You are so proud, even if it is upside down.

As far as soccer goes, you are not into it.  Last night, after you basically refused to practice, you finally told me that you don't want people to tell you what to do or how to play.  You just want to play.  When I asked you what you do want to do, you said you really want to take the computer class at school.  So that's the next plan for an extra activity.

So for now, it seems that sports might not be your thing, which is fine!  I just want you to find something that you love, whatever that might be.

You are still a serious snuggler.  You will fall asleep in your bed if I stay with you, but you still manage to crawl in bed with us occasionally.  But so does your brother.  I was in this bed with all of you boys just seconds before I snapped this photo.  How did I fit in there!?!

You took it upon yourself to crawl down and get to know your new baby niece.  You sure do love babies.  And baby girls especially.

You do have a new love of drawing and writing. It wasn't long ago that you didn't want to color. I think you had a hard time dealing with the picture you were drawing not looking on the paper the same way it did in your mind. You are able to draw more pictures now, so you seem to enjoy it more. And your brother is always close by you, wanting to be just like his big brother.

And reading.  Oh, how you love reading!  You are beginning to recognize some words, but more than anything, you love to be read to.  You will look at the pictures and imagine what the story is.  We read together every single night before bed.  I caught you "reading" by yourself one night and snapped the photo.  I love the way the light shines on your face.  Oh, how I love you so.

You and your brother and your daddy mean so much to me.  You are so much fun and such a challenge at the same time.  You teach me something every single day, and I am so happy to learn and grow from what you teach.  I can only hope that I am teaching you some things too.

 

I love you, sweet BBZ.  Happy (month after your) half birthday.

 

Love,

Mommy.