Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Truthful Tuesdays - Letting Go

It's Tuesday again, and time to get truthful!  Elizabeth over at Confessions from a Working Mom asks us this week:

How has motherhood taught you to let go?

Now that I have made it through the first year of motherhood, I already notice differences between this year and last, as far as my mothering goes.  I think I have let my expectations go.  My expectations of myself, of BBZ, of my husband, and just let things be as they are, because they are just fine!  I know BBZ wakes up at night when he doesn't feel well, so I go and nurse him back to sleep.  I've let go of my worry that this will be a habit and I just do it.  I have let go of the expectation that BBZ will always behave when we are out.  I am prepared to leave if we have to because he, like the rest of us, has bad days too.  I am trying to let go of the fact that N just doesn't hear the monitor.  If I want him to get up with BBZ, I have to wake him up and ask him to get up.  That's just the way it is.  I understand now that BBZ is going to get sick...a lot.  I am going to have to miss work and pay copays and it's going to be expensive.  It sucks, but that's life.  I have accepted that I cannot cook 100% healthy fresh foods for my family all the time.  Gerber foods are not poison and having some in the cabinet are helpful when N and I eat leftovers or order something BBZ won't eat.  It's ok...he's not going to go into some sort of food hypnosis.  Mostly healthy food is better than no healthy food.

So I guess my point is that I had certain expectations of the kind of perfect mother I would be.  I am letting some of those expectations go and rolling with the punches.  It is actually quite refreshing!