Monday, October 4, 2010

Things I have learned since my last post

BBZ's 2-year stats!

25.0 lbs (25th percentile, up from 11th which he has been since 9 months)
35" long (75th Percentile)
The doctor couldn't be happier!  She said that intelligence is measured by language at his age and he is very advanced in his language!  He puts so many words together now I can hardly keep up.  My baby isn't a baby anymore!  He is a little man now and I am one proud mama!

Having an adult conversation with a 2-year-old actually works.

BBZ started his new school a week ago today.  It was hard, to say the least.  Monday wasn't too bad, but Tuesday was awful.  He cried when I dropped him off, cried when I was gone, cried at naptime, and cried until I picked him up.  It was about as terrible as anyone can imagine.  I called on Wednesday at lunch and the day was about as bad as Tuesday, and I just lost it.  I can't really explain how sad I was.  How much guilt I felt, and how badly I wanted to run to that school and rescue him from what sounded like torture.  When I picked him up I went home and continued to punish myself for being a working mother.  For leaving my child in a situation he hated and for not giving up everything for him, as I felt I should.  I had a meeting that night and said that as dedicated as I was to the group, I would skip it if it BBZ cried when I left, as there was no way I could deal with another tearful goodbye.  Surprisingly, he did not cry at all when I left.  I'm so glad he didn't for many reasons, but mostly because it gave me a chance to talk with my group about what we were going through and also a chance to chat with the other co-leader about a way to address this situation.  I read a few articles about separation anxiety and they all encouranged me to not talk to him or harp on the separation and to instead keep it short and sweet, not giving him any idea of my discomfort.  This not only seemed dishonest to me, but also made me realize that as connected as I feel to BBZ, he must feel an even bigger connection to me.  Even as I hid my feelings from him, I'm sure he felt my uneasiness with this new situation.

So I embarked on a different approach that included being honest with myself and with him about my reservations about change.  I told him that this new school scares me too.  That I have new teachers to get to know, that it is all new and different and it worries me.  Then I told him that even with all of this uncertainty, everything was going to be alright.  I must have said 100 times on Thursday morning during this conversation that everything was going to be fine.  And you know what?  It's starting to actually look that way.  He had a great day Thursday AND Friday!  I am so proud of him.  And it really is amazing how much honesty can change a situation.  I didn't hide anything from BBZ, which some books I read would say was too much pressure to put on a 2-year-old, but for my babe, it worked.

It's ok to cry at work...

...as long as your door closes and you have lots of moms working with you.  Last Wednesday was so bad, I literally could not stop myself from crying.  At work.  Let's face it, in the wrong working environment this could be a recipe for disaster, but in my extremely family-friendly social-work type environment, people practically lined up to give me support.  I heart my job.

Garage sales aren't always worth the work.

We didn't work that hard, but we did make $107!  $70 of that was from a bar table and stools.  So yes, that is $37 off of a garage sale.  Probably not worth it but, whatever :)

A girl is never too old to need her mama.

My mom was in town this past week which was wonderful!  Having her nearby is so great.  I get spoiled having her here and miss her that much more when she has to leave again.  Anyone who has children and lives away from their parents know what I am talking about.  So many of my friends have moms who watch their children.  Either a few days each week or on random weekends, and that's just not an option for me.  Nate's sister does a lot of the baby sitting for us, which is great.  Although, there is just nothing like a girl's mom.  She painted some rooms for us, watched BBZ while we went to a wedding, balanced playing with BBZ and caring for her parents, and sat up with me chatting about our rough days (her with her parents and me with BBZ).  It was a wonderful visit, but way too short.

Becoming a room mother isn't cheesy.

On one of the days when I felt completely dsconnected from BBZ's new school, I marched into the main office and said I wanted to be involved with the parent's association, if they had one.  The co-director pulled out a book and turned to a page where there were lote of blanks.  They were the names of the rooms with lined next to them.  BBZ's room was also blank.  She say with excitment "his room doesn't have a room parent...that can be you!"  So I obliged.  Nothing like keeping my eyes really close, right? :)

A formula recall is not call to say "ha ha" to non-breastfeeding mamas.

I know everyone saw the recall of infant formula.  It is no secret that I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding.  After all I am STILL breastfeeding BBZ.  It pains me the way people on facebook and other social media laugh at something like this as if to say "Ha, that is what you get for not breastfeeding!"  I do not think that parents should be made to feel that finding bug parts in a food manufacturing company is somehow their fault for choosing that food. It is a risk that moms might now take into consideration when they make their own (very personal) decisions in the future, but that is none of anyone's business. What I wonder is how many other foods have the risk of this occurring that we are all consuming.  I'm not going to harp on this, I'm just making my point.  All moms want what is best for their babies.

Weddings still make me cry.

What is it about a wonam in a white dress, a cake, and some vows that make a girl go all mushy?  Who knows, but the wedding I attended this past weekend was no different.  This was one of N's fraternity brothers, who has become a friend of mine.  N was in his wedding, and he was in ours almost 4 years ago.  His new wife is one of the happiest, most friendly women I have ever met, and I am so happy to see both of them so happy.  Maybe it's the newness of love, the picture-perfect idea of the future, or perhaps the gathering of friends, but whatever it is, I just love weddings.  It makes me think back to my perfect day and how wonderful everything was.  What it was like looking into my husband's eyes and promising to stay with him forever.  The way it felt to picture what our kids would look like, only to know now.  It was a lovely wedding.

I love to blog, even if I don't do it as much as I would like to.

Really, I do love to blog.  It's an outlet, a release, and a way to connect with people who don't get to see us very often.  I wish I had more time and energy so I wouldn't go so long between posts.  I am working on it!

3 comments:

  1. One of my blog friends gave me some really good advice when L was having such a hard time in his new school. I taught him two mantras...1.) "Mommies always come back," and 2.) "School is fun!" And they work! I said those two things all.the.time. and then he finally started saying them, and ultimately believed them.

    Also, I thought of you yesterday. I nursed in public (well, besides in my car, haha) at Longhorn after having lunch with B. I had a nursing cover and everything but I still got dirty looks. BOO! Thinking of your post, however, gave me strength to ignore them and smile at G. :)

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  2. This is a great post. I agree with you about the breastfeeding thing. How terrible of people to use that against non-breastfeeding moms. Some moms just can't!

    Weddings ARE fun. My two best friends get married in two days and I'm the MOH...looking forward to all the fun (and the tears).

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  3. Thank you for bringing such nice posts. Your blog is always fascinating to read.

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