Monday, February 27, 2012

Full-time, Part-time, Full-time, Part-time.

When BBZ was 6 months old, my boss allowed me to drop to 32 hours/week for work. It was a really hard decision that I mulled over for quite some time. Read about it here, if you'd like.

What made the decision even harder was that BBZ's daycare didn't take kids at 4 days/week, so we had to pay for the 5th day that we didn't send him. I took a cut in pay but had to pay the same for daycare. Anyone who has their kids in daycare knows that it is crazy expensive. It was awesome that as a family we were able to do that.

So I worked my 4-day work week until the summer of 2010.  When we found and decided to purchase our new home, and became landlords over our previous home, I knew it was time to go back to full-time.

BBZ was almost 2, I wanted our new home, and I liked the idea of being able to provide all of the things he would need in his life, so the decision wasn't that hard.  I was ready to go back.

Shortly after, December of 2010 to be exact, I accepted a new position within my organization that had many more responsibilities than my previous one.  I became a program director for 7 departments (or programs) and oversee the work of about 30-35 people either directly or indirectly.  It was, and continues to be, my dream job.

2 weeks after I accepted the position, I found out I was pregnant with LBZ.  New baby and a new job?  Pregnant brain while trying to learn a new job?  And clean up some messes, too?  It was a lot.  It is still a lot.  But all that aside, I knew recently that something needed to change.

Remember my post about not being able to identify the feeling I had after the new year?  Well, I have continued to be in a "rut" of sorts.  I love my job and I love my family, but I was feeling like something just wasn't good enough.  That something had to give.  I miss my boys so much.  I was losing my patience when I was home and not enjoying the moments I had like I thought I should be.  I was getting my work done, but aching for something, I just wasn't sure what.

I've been thinking for a while about going to 4 days again.  I guess since I returned to work in November I knew it could be an option.  I think that I knew in the back of my mind that if I didn't feel great about being back at work that going back to 4 days was an option.  Well, it's official...

...I'm going to 4-day work weeks starting in March!!!

I am so excited and relieved and feel like I can breathe easier already.  I re-read the post I wrote last time and am feeling many of the same emotions as I did then.  I even had a cold that wouldn't go away last time, and now I have been sick almost non-stop since LBZ was born.  I really think a lot of it is caused by stress and trying to be every single thing to every body.  Something has to give.

While I am so excited that today is my very last Monday I will have to work for a while, I am nervous about trying to cram 40 hours of work into 32 hours.  I really love my job.  The job is one that is a true culmination of every single thing I worked for.  I look back at my career and see the path that led me to where I am, and it is exactly where I would like to be, and I hope that I can maintain it with this change.

So there it is.  I had a little tease with last Monday off for President's Day and we had an incredible time.  We went out and about and BBZ listened so well.  He skipped a nap, but wasn't grouchy and seemed to like our special day together.  While the change is scary, I believe that it will all end up the way it is meant to :)

1 comment:

  1. I knew you would find your way back to full happiness :) Now with all that time off you can come visit me whenever you want! LOL

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