I entered Walgreen's today to purchase some things that I hoped would alleviate some unwanted pregnancy symptoms. I am being purposefully vague as to try and avoid sharing too much about my nether regions than I would like for perhaps, my father to know. Or worse, my father-in-law, both of whom read this blog.
Not that I care that much since I am, ahem, posting this after all.
So anyway, I'm in Walgreen's and couldn't find what I was looking for. I wandered around for a while hoping that I wouldn't have to ask someone and then of course it happened, a woman walked around the corner and said in her much too perky voice..
"hi, are you finding everything ok?"
"Actually", I replied, "do you guys have those round pillow things?"
"Oh for traveling you mean?", she asked back.
Total silence. I stared at her and couldn't get the words out. My eyes begged for her to know what I wanted and not to make me actually say the words myself. Thankfully, she finally broke the silence...
"Oh, do you mean for (insert dirty little word that makes me want to curse everything imaginable about being pregnant and what the previous pregnancy which included 2+ hours of pushing and a 4th degree tear did to my body)".
"Yes." I simply replied.
So I found the round pillow and cream that I was looking for and headed to the counter. As I carried these items to the front I hoped that the woman who helped me as well as the person who was going to ring this up would assume I was purchasing such embarrassing items for my grandmother, or better yet my grandfather because there is no way I would have to deal with something as bad as (insert dirty little word again).
When I got to the counter there was a woman checking out and a woman behind her. The woman behind was checking out all of those little items that you think you can't live without and the store knows it which is why they stock the isle full of these things. She was also on the phone.
I was completely focused on no one noticing what I was purchasing and when the woman in front of me moved to the far side of the counter giving me the impression that she had finished her transaction, I placed my 2 items on the counter. Then it happened.
She stepped back to the counter and still had to pay. So there were those embarrassing items just screaming at everyone in the store...hey look, that woman has (you've probably figured it out by now).
She stepped back in line and apologized for having to come back and I apologized for jumping the gun and laying my items down. She looked at what was there and said...
"Does that thing work?"
"I'm not sure, I hope so." I replied.
"Because I have (those evil little devil dirty words) and have since my baby was born".
Then the flood gates into my issues opened as I replied...
"Well I had trouble right after my son was born after a traumatic birth and then I was fine and I'm pregnant again and only 9 weeks and I can't believe I have to deal with this and what if it lasts all through the pregnancy and how miserable is this and how do we cope and isn't it just amazing what we do to our bodies for our children?"
"Yes it is," she said, "we give our bodies to give them life and we are forever changed".
I left the store feeling much more proud of what I am accomplishing. I am suffering from this because I want another life in this world. This is happening because of the 2.5 hours of pushing I did to bring my first baby boy into my life. This sucks, and there's no arguing that, but the satisfaction I will feel to meet this baby, and make my beloved BBZ a big brother, will make it all worth it.
I sure as hell hope so anyway. This dramatic shopping trip forced me to forget my other 2 needed items. There's pregnancy brain for ya!