Nikki and me, with BBZ and little Paige in utero at Wakarusa June 2008
It's still kind of fascinating to me that BBZ was really in there, growing and getting big enough to be born. I remember feeling him in there, and eventually seeing his little feet and arms move around, but sometimes it's hard to believe that he was actually in there. It's crazy.
I have a friend (who in his sometimes cynical ways) said that having a baby is a miracle that happens 1000 times a day. This makes me laugh because it is true! I wouldn't call growing a human a miracle as much as it is so very natural. It felt like it was the reason my body is here. It was the most natural and human thing I have ever done. I think I have mentioned this before, but I find it fascinating that humans don't have a "human" thing that we do. There isn't really a "human" thing that every human does. In fact, many humans wonder much of their life about what they should be doing or want to be doing. Birds don't do that. Bees don't do that. At least not that I know of. Birds have a birdliness that drives their behavior. Bees have activities that they do that literally make the environment we know stay in existence. What do humans do? We often spend our lives trying to find that out.
For me, having a baby felt as close to human-ness that I can imagine. To procreate helped me connect with ancestors from years past just by picturing them doing things such as bathing or nursing their children, both practices that have occurred since the beginning of time. I felt connected to nature, while hosting the place for my child to grow. It was an amazing experience, one that I am looking forward to having again sometime in the future.
Happy Hump Day!
I should have added this before, but here are our little miracles now!
