Please also read Part Two, written on 7/7/12
Do you think this actually exists? I remember hearing about this hormone, which enables a woman to forget the pain and negative aspects of childbirth, thus allowing her to get pregnant again. I visited my friend, Laura today who had her baby 3 days ago. She just got home yesterday, so last night was the first night home. When I first got there, I gave her a hug and said hello and put the food away that I brought, and she looked at me and asked why no one told her how much pain she would be in after the baby comes out. She asked me if I had pain after I got home and I said no. I actually got a little worried because I could see on her face that she really didn't feel well at all. I wondered if something was wrong with her because I seriously didn't remember feeling pain at all once I got home. Some time went by and Laura mentioned that she needed to write down when she had her last pain pill. Then it hit me...
Like a ton of bricks.
It all came back. My pain was so bad that I had to ask for 10 days of extra pain medication. I still don't remember what the pain felt like, or even that I had pain. All I remember is asking my doctor for extra pain medication to take home with me because I swore I would never feel ok again without it. After BBZ was born was literally the first time I have ever taken prescription pain medication. So if the pain was that bad, where I needed 10 more days than what my doctor usually prescribes, how could I possibly forget it? I swear, it must be hormonal.
My childbirth experience was pretty tragic. I pretty much felt like my doctor cut me open and ripped him out of me, then sewed me up using no anesthesia and the biggest thread known to man. The labor pain was bad, but I always feel like I could have done it without an epidural, but maybe I don't really remember. Maybe our bodies are naturally programmed to forget the pain and do it again. Otherwise, would anyone have more than one baby? It is amazing seeing my best friend as a mama. She looks tired, and exhausted, and absolutely in love. We cried together about something that only emotional moms would cry about, and I reminisced about what those first days were like for me. I wished I had blogged back then, to have some sort of record, but it's not like I would have had time to blog anyway.
My office mate and I talk often about babies and childbirth and breastfeeding and I love some of the conversations we find our selves in. She is also a Doula, so she is a great resource for all things baby and mama related. She and I were talking last week about how important groups like Le Leche League are for women in our generation. Back in the day, women who had a child would be surrounded by aunts and moms and sisters and friends and embraced and provided with plenty of support a new mom needed. Life is just too busy for that these days. I loved sitting with her while her baby slept and talking about her experiences and mine and sharing our thoughts and emotions as we embark on this adventure called motherhood. I wish I could be there with her all the time, and I'm sure her mother and sisters wish they could be too, but our lives just aren't like that anymore. That's why I think having groups like LLL are so important.
My LLL yahoo group has been a very quiet one until recently. We all re-introduced ourselves to each other and had some good conversations. During one of them, I realized that I am now a mama who is giving the advice rather than taking it. I too need support, especially with weaning that is in our near future, but there are mamas just starting out that I am helping now. The experienced moms helped me, so now it's my turn to help them. It is a role I was not expecting, but am happy to do.
It's like this scenario I was watching on one of the Woodstock documentaries I saw recently (there are a lot on since it was the 40th anniversary this summer). They had tents set up for people who had bad LSD trips. People would come in acting scared and crazy from the bad trip, and other concert patrons would help them through it. Once their trip wore off, they were told "see that person coming in looking all crazy? That was you 3 hours ago, now it's your turn to help them through it". It may be a strange comparison, but I was where Laura is now almost exactly 1 year ago, so now it's my turn to help her through it. If only I could remember!
Here she is holding BBZ when he was just 5 days old. I didn't have my camera with me today, so I'll get a picture of me holding her little munchkin next time. I can't believe this was almost a year ago! I also added this video after I originally posted. This was so fun to see again! It's kind of long and he sure didn't do much back then, but I remember from hearing my voice how excited I was!