Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Where have I been?

Busy.  That's the short answer.

The long answer is longer (obviously) and a bit more complicated.

I tend to turn to my blog when things are uneasy in my life.  It's a place where I can vent my thoughts and work through some things I have trouble with.  This time though, I turned away from it.

I've been struggling at work.  Trying to get what I need done in 4 days is proving to be really, really hard.  I've made the decision to go back to work 5 days/week.  I'm not really sure how I feel about this.  It was a hard decision, but when I look at my job and can see things that are not being done as well as I would like, it's hard to think of ways to do program improvement if I'm not even working at my full capacity.

It does make me sad though.  I love having an extra day with my boys.  Hopefully it is something I might be able to do again one day.  We'll see.

So things at work have been rough, and so have some personal things, although there is good news there, too.

At the risk of sharing TMI (too much information) it took 7 weeks for my period returned after I stopped pumping.  It finally returned on our anniversary (sucks, right??).  Not really though.  If you are a woman reading this, think about a time where you had a pregnancy scare.  Your were a day or two late, you swore your period was right around the corner, you had PMS symptoms, but your body was just not starting.

You began to worry.  You began to wonder how a baby might affect your life.  You began to freak out.  You maybe even took a pregnancy test.  That feeling of uncertainty was the story of my life for at least the last month.  I guess I assumed my period would return within a few weeks of weaning.  Not so much.  It took 7 weeks.

That sucked.  But it's over!  Hooray!  Except...now I am left with the first period I've had in a little over two years.  Why did I want this to return again??

So I'm not pregnant, I'm going back to work full time, Christmas is right around the corner, N and I celebrated 6 wonderful years married and 10 (yes, 10!!) years since our first date, we had an awesome trip to the far north for Thanksgiving, LBZ is waking every single night for usually around an hour and only wants me, BBZ is saying some of the funniest things on earth, LBZ has a 15 month appointment this Friday, I'm thinking of growing my hair out, my mom stayed with us for almost a month while my grandma went through a life-changing circumstance, my sister found out she is having a baby girl, I'm beginning to plan her shower, we have some fun events with friends coming up, I have done almost all of my Christmas shopping online, I bought a present at an Etsy shop for someone but decided to keep it for myself, BBZ's 4T pants that I bought him at the beginning of Fall are already almost too short for him, LBZ is still in 12 month clothes and is much smaller than BBZ was at this age (there goes my argument that BBZ better be nice to him because LBZ will be bigger than him one day).

And I think that's it.  For now anyway.  Hopefully I will catch the ol' blog up with some photos!

I hope everyone else is doing well!