I did not get so spoiled using disposable diapers while BBZ had diaper rash that I used them a few extra days. I definitely did not enjoy leaving daycare in the evening without poop-covered diapers. I always love cloth diapering and never, ever take shortcuts.
I did not stand in the shower and hand express my breast milk just to see how far I could spray it. I am not admitting this because MckMama admitted to doing something similar on her post today. I definitely do not do this all the time to see if it sprays further when I haven't fed BBZ in a while. I am not this easily amused and have much better things to do!
I did not turn BBZ's car seat around even though I know it is safer to have him rear facing past 1 year. His doctor did not tell me that me being tense because of his constant screaming in the car and my reaching behind me to hand him anything and everything to get him to stop screaming is just as dangerous. I was not absolutely thrilled when she gave me permission to turn him around. I did not try it today and he was not the happiest baby in the whole world while driving. He was also not the absolute cutest thing in the whole world in his big boy car seat!
I definitely did not have a few beers at the bar on date night on Friday. Even though I stopped early knowing there is always a small chance BBZ could wake up, I did not freak out and ask N if BBZ would start puking and have a hangover because I nursed him when we got home. N did not make fun of me and reassure me he is fine. I never worry about something so much that I can't sleep. Ever.
I did not watch BBZ sit in his little chair and strum his ukulele all day yesterday! I definitely did not sit and imagine what it would be like if he became a rock star and wonder what his stage name would be. I do not have ambitions that my son will be extra fantastic at music. I only have completely realistic expectations of my son's future and would never live vicariously through him.