So the story begins maybe a year ago when my buddy started climbing and asked me to join. I wasn’t interested in adding another time consuming activity into my week so I passed. While I was in the midst of some hard trail training I think I was also reluctant to try something new. Trying a new physical activity is a very vulnerable thing. Being willing to suck at something for a while is tough, and I’m learning that I need to be in a pretty good headspace to take something like this on. I said no to my friend’s invitation. For a long time.
Fast forward to the last 6 weeks post DNF and while I already feel like my body sucks at everything why not prove it by trying something new? Hahaha
I went with my friend 2-3 times and at the end of the last time I said something along the lines of “I don’t think I like it”. I wasn’t ready to give up yet but I was close.
Then last Friday morning I went for a run and it felt amazing. I’m slowly getting back to running and while the Friday run was short it was a good solid run. I knew my friend and I were going to climb later that night so I spent the run visualizing myself climbing to the top of the rock wall really strong. I actually pictured it in my head and decided that I would take one step at a time, stay out of my head and was going to make myself push through the fear.
That lasted only about few hours 😂
By the afternoon I had lost all of that confidence. I again questioned if I could really do it and wouldn’t I get half way up and freeze again? My hands will hurt. It’s too much disappointment. I suck at it. All of this negativity screaming so loudly inside my head.
There was a point when I was texting my friend about meeting up that I actually typed “or we can just wait until tomorrow to go” but I didn’t send that text. I hit the back button and instead finalized our plans.
We made it to the climbing gym and I was both fearful and determined. Armed this time with my own equipment and new-to-me shoes. After watching my friend climb to the top of a wall I clipped myself into that wall shown above and started climbing. I took one step at a time, one hand, one foot, one climb and before I knew it I was higher up than I had ever been.
Then I tried another wall, and another. And another. All of them the same. One step, one hand, one foot, one climb at a time. Breathe. Don’t forget to breathe. Make it to the top.
As we were leaving we decided to try the 2-story wall. My friend climbed to the top as I watched. I needed to get home to the kids but I saw the red course and said I wanted to try it before we left.
I climbed it one step, one hand, one foot, one climb. Breathe. One step at a time and before I knew it I was at the top. It was intoxicating.
I was chatting with another friend this week and he was bragging on his life partner and how she is always fearful and does things anyway. This is so me. I’m afraid of everything. I’ve always been the worst case scenario thinker which has disrupted my natural enthusiasm to live an adventurous life. I have to make myself do the thing.
Many of the cliches I’ve shared have been what I need to hear. Do the thing that scares me. Do it scared. Life begins in the other side of our comfort zone. On the other side of fear is where the magic happens.
For me, whatever I’m looking for might just be at the top of that rock wall.
I'd better go see.
On my way up the 2-story wall
